SPCW STARKS POND THURSDAY

Big Poppa Roid Pumpa vs. Stan Hall w/ SCSM

[Big Poppa Pumpa's YO' HOOKUP!] "Nann N*gga" hits and Big Poppa comes out waving the American flag and the crowd is going crazy. He waves it around and gets the chants of "U-S-A" going. He slides into the ring and kisses his biscep. He puts the flag on the corner turnbuckle. [Hey......................] The crowd waits anxiously [.....................] the crowd waits impatiently [...........................YO!] The crowd erupts into boos as Stan Hall walks out from behind the curtain with a toothpick dangling from the side of his mouth. Stan Hall holds his arms out as SCSM walks out behind him flipping off the crowd. Hall walks down and steps into the ring as SCSM stands on the outside watching Big Poppa closly. [ding, ding, ding!] Hall and BPRP stare each other down..Hall removes his toothpick and tosses it into Big Poppa's face but Big Poppa retaliates by shoving Hall to the mat and he hits HARD! Hall stands back up and smooths out his hair...BPRP and Hall lock it up! BPRP gets Hall into the corner and unleashes with a WICKED chop! Hall stumbles out of the corner and BPRP grabs him from behind..he hooks his arm...PUMP HANDLE SLAM! Hall is favoring his back and Big Poppa laughs at him. BPRP brings Hall to his feet...Big Poppa whips Hall into the ropes...big boot levels Hall! BPRP grabs the leg of Hall...he flips him over and hooks his head...STF! Hall is screaming in pain as BPRP continues to stretch...well..EVERYTHING of Hall's. Big Poppa lets go with a look of disgust on his face. He drags Hall to his feet but Hall scores with a shot below the belt on Big Poppa! Phil warns Hall but Hall shrugs it off. Hall whips a stunned Big Poppa into the ropes and takes him down with a dropkick! Hall moves over to Big Poppa and stomps away on him! Hall brings Big Poppa to his feet...Hall whips Big Poppa into the turnbuckle and calls for the 10 Punch! Hall climbs up......1 .......2 .......3 .......4 .......5 ......6 .....7 ......8 ........9 ......10! Hall tosses BPRP down to the ground. Hall gets in a stomp to the back of Big Poppa as BPRP pulls himself to his feet. Hall with a right hand to the jaw of BPRP, sending him stumbling into the corner! Hall brings Big Poppa up top....SUPERPLEX! Hall makes the cover....1....2....kick out! Hall brings Big Poppa to his feet and sets him up....DDT! Hall is calling for this one to be OVER! Hall picks up BPRP and whips him into the ropes...he ducks down for a back body drop but Big Poppa grabs him...GUT WRENCH POWERBOMB...BPRP holds it on him...1.....2.....3!!!!!!
Winner: Big Poppa Roid Pumpa via Gut Wrench Powerbomb at 7 minutes and 4 seconds

Stankind w/ Misycho vs. Billy Kartman

"Livin' La Vida Loca" hits and Kartman steps out of the entryway as the crowd gives a minimal reaction. A few shouts of "You Suck!" but not much else. Kartman hops into the ring and stretches out a little. [HAVE A NICE DAY!!!!!] "I Think I'm Paranoid" hits as the lights strobe. Stankind limps out from behind the curtain and the crowd cheers. He walks down to the ring and slides in. Kartman stomps away on him before he can even get up. [ding, ding, ding!] BK drags Stankind to his feet and flattens him with a short-arm clothesline! BK with more stomps for the fallen Stankind! Stankind brings himself to his feet with the help of the ropes. BK charges at Stankind but Stankind ducks and heaves him over the ropes...BK hangs onto the ropes and lands on the apron! BK hops onto the ropes and flies at Stankind with a flying cross-body...Stankind catches him and turns it into a SIDE-BREAKER! Stankind grabs a handful of BK's hair and yanks him to his feet...Stankind scoops him up...BIG BODY SLAM! Stankind heads into the ropes...and HE DROPS THE BIG LEG! Stankind makes the cover....1....2...kick out! Stankind brings BK to his feet and whips him into the ropes...Stankind lifts up BK...SPINEBUSTER! BK flops around on the ground like a fish out of water! Stankind brings Kartman to his feet and sends him into the turnbuckle...Stankind follows it up with a big splash, knocking the air right out of Kartman! Kartman stumbles out from the turnbuckle and collapses on the ground. Stankind rolls to the outside of the ring and grabs a chair. Kartman is back on his knees, coughing and trying to regain his wind. Stankind heaves the chair into the rings and steps through the ropes. Stankind picks up the chair and places it in the corner. Stankind grab BK from behind and runs with him...BULLDOG! Stankind dusts off his hands and points to the chair. The crowd pops and Stankind lifts up BK. Stankind whips BK into teh turnbuckle and he CRASHES into the chair! BK stumbles backwards right into Stankind...Stankind grabs him from behind and locks on a sleeperhold! BK looks to be out cold before the sleeper was even applied! Stankind tightens the sleeper and Phil slides into position to check on Kartman. Phil lifts BK's arm and it falls.....Phil signals to the timekeeper. Phil lifts BK's arm again...it falls again. Phil signals again. Suddenly- [WHOOOOOOO IS YOUR ICON?] "Welcome To The Jungle" hits and Demonspawn walks casually down to the ring with his staff leaning on his shoulder. He steps through the ropes behind Stankind. DS motions for Phil to step aside and Phil obliges...DS swings the staff down onto the top of Stankind's head {WHACK!}! Stankind's head is busted open and he's out cold! He doesn't even know what hit him! DS pulls Kartman onto Stankind and says, "Thanks for the help with the song...but don't expect me to save your ass again..." DS nods to Phil and Phil slides into position...1.....2.....3!!!!! What a swerve!
Winner: Billy Kartman via pinfall at 8 minutes and 33 seconds

US Title Match:
Stunk vs The Poof

[The Fab 4....FREECOCKS FUH LIFE!] Stunk's ominous music plays as he swoops down on a bungee cord to the ring. He lands and undoes the harness. The crowd boos and he raises his bat in the air and shrugs them off. [DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE POOF IS COOKIN?] "Ain't Nuttin But A G THANG" hits up and The Poof walks out with one of his $500 shirts on and his training pants plus some Ray-bans. He has his eyebrow raised and the crowd his cheering loudly as they can. The Poof steps through the ropes and asks for a mic. Someone tosses him one....

"[pauses for dramatic effect] Now...The Poof knows....that he hasn't been the most fighting US Champion of all time and there's a damn good reason for that. You know why that is Stunk? Don't answer that! Nobody gives a damn about what YOU think! It's because The Poof knows that with the support of the millions.................annnnnnnd MILLIONS of his fans...he can aspire to a greater height than being the Roody Poo US Champ. So you know what The Poof has gone and done for you, Stunker? Do ya? Well since The Poof doesn't have time to waste with this pathetic piece of metallic junk that is the US belt...The Poof is GIVING you the belt!"

The Poof hands the belt to Stunk and Stunk smirks and nods his head, happy to be champion.

"And I'm sure you understand when The Poof says that you can take the US Belt, turn it sideways and stick it STRAIGHT UP YOUR ROODY POO CANDY ASS!"

The Poof attacks Stunk, punching and kicking away on him! The Poof takes Stunk and whips him into the ropes...he catches him...PUKE BOTTOM! WHAM BAM THANK YOU MA'M! The Poof spits on Stunk and walks out of the ring to a huge ovation.

NEW US CHAMPION: Stunk

SCSM/Stan Hall vs Pepe Broflovski/Kenny Shamrock

[Where my DOGZ AT?] "Dogz 4 Life" hits and SCSM walks out wagging his head back and forth and sneering at the crowd who is booing like crazy. Hall follows behind SCSM slowly making motions to indicate that HE'S gonna be the next Tag Team Champ. SCSM hops through the ropes and hops up to the second turnbuckle and flips off the audience. Hall takes out his toothpick and heaves it into the audience. [Old Skooooool BIATCH!] "Soda Pop" hits and Kenny Shamrock walks out with one arm around Christina Augulia and the other around Brittany Spears. Pepe hops around behind him trying to get the camera's attention. He runs in front of Shammy and flashes a big smile. Shamrock walks into the ring and glares at SCSM. Pepe hops over the top ropes and flexes. [ding, ding, ding] Looks like Shammy and Stone Cold Stan Marsh are gonna lock it up first. SCSM charges at Shamrock at catches him with repeated right hands to the side of the head, taking him back a little. SCSM whips Shamrock into the ropes and levels him with a clothesline! Shamrock is back on his feet and Austin charges with a lariat but Shammy ducks it and hits a kick to the gut of Stone Cold...Shamrock with a snap mare takeover. Shamrock makes the tag into Pepe. Pepe hops up to the top rope...SENTON onto Stone Cold! SCSM pulls himself back to his feet and Pepe grabs him from behind...NECK BREAKER! Pepe leaps over and catches Hall with a flying fist, sending him off the apron! Pepe slides onto SCSM for the cover...Phil with the count....1....kick out! Pepe bangs his fist into the mat. Pepe hooks SCSM....suplex. Pepe hops up and tags into Shamrock. Shamrock hops up to the top rope...he goes for a flying legdrop but SCSM rolls out of the way at the last minute! Both men are down! SCSM is crawling over towards Hall to make the tag but Shammy is still attempting to stand. Shamrock is back on his feet but SCSM is inches away from Hall. SCSM DIVES right as Shamrock charges and Hall gets tagged in! Hall UNLEASHES on Shamrock with a flurry of rights and lefts! Hall grabs Shamrock and whips him into the ropes..Hall picks him up over his head...and DROPS him! Nice Military Press! Pepe leaps into the ring but he gets sent back out with a big boot to the face! Hall picks up Shamrock and sets him up....PILEDRIVER! Hall covers....1....2...kick out! Shamrock's not outta it yet! Hall brings Shammy to his feet..Hall scoops him Shamrock..body slam! Hall is calling for it to be over! Hall picks up Shamrock and drags him into the corner... Hall plops Shamrock on the top rope..Hall starts to move up to the top but Shamrock grabs him by the head and swings him around...TORNADO DDT! Shamrock scrambles to his feet and makes the tag to Pepe! Pepe leaps in and grabs Hall. Pepe picks up Hall and slaps him around a little. Pepe whips Hall into the ropes...Pepe with a monkey flip! Hall flies to the outside! SCSM charges into the ring but Shamrock hops in and knocks down SCSM with a dropkick! Pepe and Shamrock bring SCSM to his feet..they grab him..DOUBLE SUPLEX! Hall scrambles back into the ring but Shamrock plants him with a DDT! Pepe and Shamrock pick up SCSM and whip him into the ropes...DOUBLE DROPKICK! SCSM tumbles to the outside...Pepe hops up top....450 SPLASH ONTO HALL! Pepe hooks the leg as Shamrock counts along with Phil....1.....2....3!!!!! WHAT A VICTORY! KMJ and Big Flexy run down and clear the ring of Pepe and Shamrock but Jericho and DS run down and jeer at the D-Crew (what IS your name, guys?)
Winners and #1 CONTENDERS FOR THE TAG BELTS: Pepe/Shamrock via 450 Splash at 14 minutes and 11 seconds

TV Title Match:
Kyle Drozdov w/ Prince Stanbert vs. Kyle Snow

[WHAT DOES EVERYBODY WANT????] Kyle Snow's music kicks in over the PA and the crowd goes crazy. Kyle Snow waves Head around and slides into the ring. He gives a few crotch chops and wags his tongue around a little. "Prisioner Of Society" hits up as Droz leaps out from behind the curtain to a mixed reaction. He wags HIS tongue and Prince Stanbert lumbers out behind him. He pats his TV Title which is securly around his waist. He hops over the top rope and Kyle Snow charges at him! [ding, ding, ding!] Droz ducks Snow's flying fists and retaliates with a solid left hand, sending Snow into the corner where Droz applies repeated boots to the midsection sending Snow down! Droz pulls Snow out of the corner..Droz lifts up Snow..GUT BUSTER! Droz lifts up the fallen Snow's arm and places a kick right into his ribcage! Droz grabs Snow's hair and yanks him to his feet...Droz with a scoop slam...Droz climbs to the top rope...Droz FLIES off with an ELBOW DROP! Droz hooks the leg...1....2...kick out! Snow kicks out with no problem! Droz brings Snow to his fet and whips him into the ropes..Droz goes for a kick but Snow ducks it...off the other ropes..Snow CLOBBERS Droz witha flying clothesline! Snow stands back up and waits for Droz to get to his feet..Droz stumbles to his feet..Snow charges...SPEAR! Snow is on top of Droz and unleashing with a series of rights and lefts! Snow hops off of Droz and pulls him to his feet..Snow scoops up Droz...SHOULDER BREAKER! Droz goes down, cradling his shoulder. Snow steps on his shoulder and twists his arm as Droz screams in pain! Snow lets go and waits for Droz to get back to his feet. Droz is back on his feet and Snow locks it up with him...Snow with an arm drag takedown into a standing armbar! Snow tightens the hold as Droz reaches up for a clump of Snow's hair! Droz pulling on the hair of Snow, now...Snow lets go and Droz hangs onto his hair...Droz with a boot to the midsection of Snow...Droz with a FACE SLAM! Droz makes the cover...1...2...kick out! Droz brings Snow to his feet and whips him into the turnbuckle..Droz charges in with a shoulder but Snow moves and Droz catches a pole in the shoulder! Snow from behind Droz...GERMAN SUPLEX....1....2....kick out! Close call! Snow brings Droz to his feet..Snow applying an arm wrench on Droz! Snow with an elbow to the arm of Droz, sending him to his knees! Snow steps over the arm and rolls Droz over...Mexican Cradle...1....2...kick out! Snow picks up Droz...Snow whips Droz into the turnbuckle...Snow picks up Droz and plops him on the top turnbuckle...Snow heads up top...HURRICANRANA FROM UP TOP...REVERSED! Droz POWERBOMBS Snow from the top rope! Droz picks up the severely injured Snow and is calling for it to be over...Droz picks up Snow for a suplex...blocked....Droz tries again...blocked....Droz tries one more time but Snow gets HIM up instead...Droz is vertical...Snow now with...THE BLOW PLOW! Snow collapses onto Droz.....1.........2.......3!!!!!!!! NEW CHAMPION!
Winner and NEW TELEVISION CHAMPION: Kyle Snow via Blow Plow at 15 minutes and 56 seconds

Tag Team Title Match:
Lardi/"Mrs. DS" vs. Ravin'/Meatloaf vs. Hanky Boyz w/Michael PeeAss Hayes vs. DS/Stan Jericho

"Youth Of America" hits and The Hanky Boyz walk out with Michael PeeAss Hayes. Matt Hanky hops over the top rope as Jeff Hanky slides in underneath. They high five and warm up a little. [QUOTE THE RAViN....NEVERMORE!] "All In The Family" hits and Ravin Stan walks out with his hands above his head. He gets a mixed reaction as he slowly walks down to the ring. Meatloaf walks behind him looking obediant. They step through the ropes and discuss strategy. [WHOOO IS YOUR ICON?] "All Star" hits and Jericho and Demonspawn walk out next to each other both smirking. Demonspawn carries a broken Demonic staff over his shoulder and Jericho is blowing kisses to the crowd. Jericho hops over the ropes and poses for the camera as DS leans on a turnbuckle and chuckles. [Ohhh! Ohhhh! Ohhh! Lardi!] "Dope Show" hits and Lardi walks out with "Mrs. DS". Lardi wears his belt around his waist and carries Mrs. DS' over his shoulder. He hops up and down laughing and pointing at Demonspawn. Lardi hops into the ring and Demonspawn jabs the lower half of his staff into his gut. [ding, ding, ding] Looks like Demonspawn and Lardi will start this match off! Demonspawn pounding away on Lardi, definitely showing off his wrestling ability! Demonspawn whips Lardi into the ropes and NAILS him with a spinning back kick! Demonspawn leaps onto the fallen Lardi and pounds away at his face! Demonspawn repeatedly slamming Lardi's head into the mat! Demonspawn brings Lardi to his feet...Demonspawn with a knee to the gut of Lardi...Demonspawn hooks the arms...DOUBLE UNDERHOOK SUPLEX! Lardi BOUNCES off the mat! Demonspawn spits on Lardi! DS charges Mrs. DS and clobbers her with a good right hand, sending her flying off the apron! DS picks up Lardi and hooks on an arm wrench..DS tags in Jericho. Jericho hops up to the top rope...DOUBLE AXE HANDLE on the arm of Lardi! Jericho moves over to a fallen Lardi and hooks on an arm bar! Jeff Hanky runs into the ring and stomps Jericho, breaking the hold. Jericho drags Lardi to his feet but Lardi catches Jericho with an eye gouge. Lardi tags in Jeff Hanky! Jeff Hanky hops into the ring and levels Jericho with a dropkick! Jericho springs back to his feet and charges at Hanky..Hanky with an arm drag takedown! Hanky moves onto Jericho and applies a reverse chin lock! Demonspawn hops into the ring and punches Hanky, breaking the hold! Hanky brings Jericho to his feet...Hanky whips Jericho into the ropes and tags in Matt Hanky..Hanky hops to the top rope but Meatloaf shakes the ropes and Hanky STRADDLES THE ROPES! Jericho sees this and climbs up top...Jericho with Matt Hanky...HURRICANRANA FROM UP TOP! Jericho covers....1....2...broken up by Jeff Hanky! Jericho tags in Ravin Stan. Ravin picks up Matt Hanky...PILEDRIVER! Ravin tags in Meatloaf and they double team Matt Hanky! Meatloaf whips Matt Hanky into the ropes...Ravin and Meatloaf bend over for a double back body drop...Hanky with a DOUBLE DDT! Hanky crawls across the ring..and he tags in Lardi! Lardi hops into the ring and dropkicks Meatloaf! But Ravin clubs Lardi from behind..Ravin with Lardi...INVERTED DDT! Meatloaf covers....1....2...Demonspawn leaps in and breaks it up! Meatloaf brings Lardi to his feet and whips him into the turnbuckle...Meatloaf charges but Lardi hops out of the way! Meatloaf stumbles out of the corner...Lardi from behind...roll up....1....2...broken up by Ravin! Lardi picks up Meatloaf...knee to the gut...Lardi with a FACE SLAM! Lardi tags in Demonspawn! DS moves towards Meatloaf...Meatloaf with a leg pick and a rolls up on DS...1....2...save by Jericho! Meatloaf and DS both on their feet...they lock it up...Demonspawn with a suplex! He's calling for it to be OVER! Demon-Drop time! Demonspawn brings Meatloaf to his feet..Demonspawn backs up near the ropes..wait! Ravin has something in his hand! Salt! Ravin tosses the salt into DS' eyes! Ravin Stan tags DEMONSPAWN! Ravin shoves DS out of the way and rolls up a tired Meat....1....2.....Jericho dives for save....3!!!!!! New champions!!!!!!
Winners and NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Ravin Stan/Meatloaf via roll up at 20 minutes and 31 seconds

Roadkill Kenny James w/Bad Ass Stan Gunn vs. BVC w/Mini-Me

[It's TIME....It's TIME...It's ARBY'S TIME!!!] "Holla Holla" hits and BVC trots out carrying Mini-Me with him. He raises the roof a little and then steps through the ropes. The lights flash red and his pyro goes off. [OH YOU DIDN'T KNOW? WELL YOUR ASS BETTA CALLLLL SOMEBODAYYYYYYY!] "Thugz Cry" hits and Roadkill walks out doing some freestylin' on the mic. Bad Ass walks out behind him rubbing Roadkill's shoulders trying to warm him up. Roadkill slides into the ring and he and BVC circle each other a little bit. [ding, ding, ding!] BVC and Roadkill lock it up...BVC shoves Roadkill to the ground! Roadkill's back on his feet and he locks it up again with BVC...BVC shoves him to the ground again! Roadkill gets back on his feet..BVC goes for a lock up but Roadkill ducks it and kicks BVC in the gut! Roadkill with a fist to the upper back of BVC! Roadkill with a European uppercut, knocking BVC back on his haunches! Roadkill capitalizes with repeated left hands to the face of BVC! BVC is teetering and about to go down! Roadkill into the ropes..CLOTHESLINE! BVC is DOWN! Roadkill heads up to the second turnbuckle..ELBOW from up top! Roadkill brings BVC to his feet...he grabs his head....DDT! Roadkill goes for a cover...1.....2...kick out! BVC LAUNCHES Roadkill off of him and across the ring! BVC stumbles to his feet...Roadkill runs up and hits BVC with a dropkick, sending him out onto the apron! Roadkill grabs BVC and tries to suplex him into the ring...BVC weighs TOO MUCH...and BVC counters with a suplex, sending Roadkill to the outside! BVC hops off the apron and grabs Roadkill. BVC takes Roadkill and HEAVES him into the poll! Phil starts the count.....1! BVC picks Roadkill off the ground and lifts him high into the air...INVERTED SHOULDER BREAKER! (...2....3) BVC hops onto the apron and goes for a moonsault onto Roadkill..but Roadkill ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY! (...4....5) Roadkill grabs the time keeper's bell and waits for BVC to get back up...Roadkill charges with the bell and BVC ducks it! BVC with a tough right hand upside Roadkill's head! Roadkill drops the bell...BVC grabs Roadkill..he sets him up...POWERBOMB! (..6.....7.....8...) BVC slides back into the ring and yells somethings out at Roadkill. Bad Ass helps up Roadkill and rolls him back into the ring. BVC drags Roadkill to his feet...BVC sets him up for another powerbomb but Roadkill..lifts up BVC into a SPINE BUSTER instead! Roadkill grabs BVC's leg and begins to work on it! Roadkill stomps away on the inside of BVC's knee! Roadkill drags BVC over to the ropes and drapes his knee over the ropes and begins to stomp away on it! Roadkill is keeping BVC horizontal. Roadkill is calliing for the Figure 8 Leglock! But BVC counters with a BOOT to the face of Roadkill! BVC picks up Roadkill....BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX! BVC is now calling for it to end! WAIT! Here comes New Revolution! BVC whips Roadkill into the ropes, not seeing New Rev! New Revolution get onto the apron about to strike BVC with chairs but he side steps and Roadkill runs into Quiz's chair! Roadkill stumbles backwards...BVC from behind...GERMAN SUPLEX.....1......2......3!!!!! BVC GETS THE SHOT AT SUMMERSH*T! IT'S A THREE WAY DANCE! ALL BECAUSE OF NEW REVOLUTION!
Winner: BVC via german suplex at 17 minutes and 14 seconds

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