(My bonnie flies over the ocean, my bonnie flies over the sea... my bonnie is on Monday Night Poofzone! As the camera pans to Cujo and Colin you can see signs that say, "Lardi sucks on Bart" and "I'm the Cooperate Jobber, no, Really!")

Cujo: An awesome card tonight?

Colin: That is what the paper says.

Cujo: The main event is BVC vs. Flair!

Colin: Oh, a hotdog.

D'Lo Marsh vs. Stankind

Weezil: Our opening contest is scheduled for one fall. Now entering the ring D'lo Marsh!

[D'lo enters the ring]

Weezil: his opponent, weighing in at 225 from Spankville, Colorado, Stankind!!!

[I think I'm Paranoid] (ring, ring, ring) D'Lo tackles Stankind and pummels his head. Stankind is back on his feet. Stankind gets to his feet but is nailed with a Drop Kick.]

Colin: Dropkick by D'lo.

Cujo: What an accute observation.

[Stankind gets back to his feet. D'Lo Marsh drives a forearm into Stankind. D'Lo nails Stankind with a snap mare takeover. D'Lo stomps Stankind. D'Lo goes for a pin. Referee Phil makes the count. ...1 ...2 Stankind escapes. Stankind is back on his feet. D'Lo Marsh lifts Stankind into the air. Holds him and drops him to the mat. ]

Cujo: D'lo is one strong mutha'...

Colin: Say it, I dare ya.

[D'Lo gets up. D'Lo rolls onto Stankind connecting with a knee. D'Lo is back on his feet. Stankind connects with a low blow. D'Lo goes down. Stankind kicks D'Lo on the mat. D'Lo stands up. Stankind hits D'Lo with a series of punches. A slam by Stankind.]

Colin: This sucks don't it?

[D'Lo is back on his feet. Stankind gets up. Stankind nails him with a snap suplex. Stankind covers D'Lo hooking the leg. Referee Phil makes the count. ...1 ...2 D'Lo escapes. ]

Cujo: He almost had him.

[D'Lo Marsh stands up. Stankind kicks D'Lo Marsh in the stomach. Stankind stomps D'Lo. D'Lo nails Stankind with a quick jab. D'Lo clotheslines Stankind over the top rope. He follows.]

Colin - Those idiots will be counted out!

[Phil starts the count (.1) (..2) They are scrapping. (...3) Stankind is slung into the ring post.]

Colin: Oh.

[Stankind gets back to his feet. D'Lo gets up. (....4) D'Lo uses a closed fist on Stankind. (.....5) They fight into the aisle. D'Lo Marsh and Stankind move back to ringside. They head back into the ring. D'Lo tackles Stankind to the mat. D'Lo Marsh moves back to his feet. Stankind stands up. Stankind puts D'Lo in the Standible claw!! D'lo bites his fingers and Stankind lets go. Stankind is holding his hands and his hit with the High Guy. D'lo rolls him into the corner. Up goes D'lo, he just hit him with a Blo Down. Phil counts...1...2...3!

Cujo: D'lo squeaked that one out.

Weezil - The winner of this match, D'Lo Marsh!!!

Colin: Well, this should be interesting. HBK will fight the Poof, eventhough HBK has been fired.

The Poof vs. HBK (SPCW United States Title)

Weezil - This match is for the SPCW United States Title title. On his way to the ring, former SPCW star, and all around suckface, HBK.

[HBK sneaks into the ring trying not to be caught by security.]

Weezil - and his opponent, weighing in at 255 from South Park, Hawaii he holds the SPCW United States Title title belt, The Poof!!! (crowd boos *******)

["Do You Smell What the Poof is Cookin'?"]

Colin: Here comes security!

[Stan Michaels is running, he runs right into a chair held out by the Poof]

Cujo: Serves the dumbass right.

[The Poof runs against the rope and hits HBK with the Beefcake Elbow. Phil counts... 1...2...3!]

Cujo: HBK rolls out of the ring.

[Security grabs HBK as Phil grabs the mic.]

The Poof: I want the Beefcake fans to join the Poof in a song... Nah Nah Nah, Nah... well hell, the Poof says goodbye you Candy Ass Retard!

Colin: My brother was wrestling, not me...

Cujo: I can rp every second!

Kenny Mysterio, Jr. vs. Kyle Snow

Weezil - On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 185, Kenny Mysterio, Jr.!!! (crowd cheers ******)

[Kenny Mysterio, Jr. comes to the ring. ]

Weezil - and his opponent, weighing in at 260 from Wako Park a member of Degeneration Poof, Kyle Snow!!! (crowd cheers ************)

[Kyle Snow walks to the ring. Phil is the referee for this contest. Kenny Mysterio, Jr. grabs Snow's arm and wrenches it. Snow grabs Kenny Mysterio, Jr. and hits a side suplex. (the bell rings) Kyle Snow drives a forearm into the head of Kenny Mysterio, Jr. Snow takes Kenny Mysterio, Jr. off his feet with a short-arm clothesline ]

Colin - Mysterio just did a 540!

[Kyle Snow fist drops Kenny Mysterio, Jr. on the mat. Snow is back on his feet. Kyle Snow rolls onto Mysterio connecting with a knee. Snow grabs Kenny Mysterio, Jr. and hits a vertical suplex.]

Colin: Oh! That hurt like hell.

[Mysterio is sent against the rope, a reversal, a drop kick by Mysterio. Mysterio with a series of kicks. A hurricanrana. Snow is fighting back. They send each other to the floor.]

Cujo: This is a great match.

[(.1) Kyle Snow applies a thesz press to Mysterio. They fight into the aisle. (..2) Snow dives head first into Kenny Mysterio, Jr.. Kyle Snow chants start. Kyle Snow stands up. Snow nails Mysterio with a dropkick. Mysterio moves back to his feet. Kyle Snow runs and tackles Kenny Mysterio, Jr.. Snow punches him in the head. Now Mysterio standing. Snow takes Mysterio down with a knee. Mysterio moves back to his feet. Snow lifts up Mysterio and nails him with the Blow Plow. Kyle Snow pins Kenny Mysterio, Jr. Phil counts the pin. ...1 ...2 ...3 ]

Cujo: Snow wins, Snow wins!

Weezil: The winner of this match, Kyle Snow!!!

Colin: Next up a match that makes no sense.

Cujo: Just remember that if Droz is pinned we have another match tonight.

Stunk vs. Kenny Shamrock vs. Poof Daddy vs. Droz (Hell in the Cell)

Weezil - This match is a Hell in the Cell. Coming to the ring first, weighing in at 240lbs, Stunk!!! (crowd cheers *****)

[Stunk comes to the ring. ]

Weezil - The second in this four way match, weighing in at 225 from Toronto, Ontario, Kenny Shamrock!!! (crowd boos ***)

["Soda Pop" ]

Weezil - introducing third, weighing in at 259 from South Park Rehab Center a member of The Fabulous Freecocks, Poof Daddy!!! (crowd cheers ******)

["I'm so Poofy" plays, and Poof Daddy struts to the ring, as fireworks go off behind him. ]

Weezil - And finally, weighing in at 260 lbs, the SPCW TV Champion, Droz!!! (crowd cheers **)

[Droz walks to the ring. Phil is the referee for this contest. Stunk strikes Shamrock in the elbow. Poof Daddy grabs Droz and hits a clothesline. (the bell rings) They lockup. Droz sends Kenny Shamrock to the corner. Kenny Shamrock charges and tackles Droz to the fencing. Shamrock is up again. Kenny Shamrock stomps Droz' head. ]

Colin: We want blood!

[Shamrock measures Droz up and drops a closed fist. Shamrock moves back to his feet. Poof Daddy and Stunk are battling. Stunk hits a big splash. Poof Daddy turns around and his hit by Shamrock. Droz moves to the door but the ref closes it. Stunk with a roll up... 1...2... a kickout.]

Colin: We want blood!

[Poof Daddy is slung into the cage. He is ripped open! Blood is pouring all over the canvas. Shammy is wrenching at the wound but is nailed with an elbow by Stunk.]

Colin: We have blood!

[Droz is resting in the corner. Poof Daddy is slung into the same corner. Droz is busted open by Poof Daddy's head. Shammy and Stunk charge the two. Kenny trips Stunk. A big suplex on Droz by Shamrock. Stunk recovers and hits Poof Daddy with a splash. He covers...1...2... a kickout.]

Cujo: Man, what is happening!

[Shamrock suplexes Droz and moves to his feet. Ankle lock! Droz screams in pain. A chair to the side of Shamrock's head. Poof Daddy covers Kenny...1...2...3!]

Weezil: The winner of this match... Stunk!

Cujo: What? Hunh?

Colin: Look at the replay.

[Shamrock is nailed with a chair. Stunk covers Droz...1...2...3!]

Cujo: So tonight?

SCSM/Stan Hall vs. Pepe/Kenny Shamrock

Weezil - This match is a tag team contest. On there way to the ring at this time, SCSM/Stan Hall!!!

[SCSM/Stan Hall come to the ring. ]

Weezil - and their opponents, the team of Pepe/Kenny Shamrock.

Cujo: I hate Pepe.

[Pepe/Kenny Shamrock walk to the ring. Phil is the referee for this match. Shamrock is still tired from the last match.]

Colin: Wait, Pepe looks like... it is HBK again!

[Security rushes the ring and takes HBK to the back. Shamrock is lifted up and goes down with an Insider's Edge. SCSM hits him with a Stone Cold Stunner. Ref counts...1...2...3!]

Cujo: Serves Shamrock right tagging with HBK, or Pepe, bastards.

Lardi/Mrs. Demonspawn vs. New Revolution (SPCW Tag Team Championship)

Weezil - This match is a Standard Match tag match for the SPCW Tag Team Titles titles. On there way to the ring at this time, Lardi/Mrs. Demonspawn!!!

[Lardi/Mrs. Demonspawn come to the ring. ]

Weezil - and their opponents, the team of New Revolution.

[New Revolution walk to the ring. Phil is the referee for this match. Triple Puke nails Lardi with a clothesline. He measures him up with a DDT. Mrs. DS tries to interfere but Quiz enters the ring and starts beating on Lardi.]

Cujo: This is great.

[Triple Puke tags Quiz. Quiz nails The Jobfather with a dropkick. Quiz gets back to his feet. Quiz tags in Triple Puke. Triple Puke knees Lardi and rolls back to his feet. Triple Puke tags Quiz. Quiz fists drops Lardi on the mat. Quiz stands up. Lardi gets up. Quiz tags in Triple Puke. Triple Puke smacks Lardi in the side of the face with an enziguiri. DDT on Lardi by Triple Puke. Triple Puke tags Quiz. The Jobfather gets in a low blow, but misses. Quiz runs and tackles The Jobfather. Quiz punches him in the head. Quiz stomps The Jobfather's head. Quiz brings in Triple Puke for New Revolution. Triple Puke goes for a Thesz Press but Lardi dodges the attack. Triple Puke and The Jobfather go to the floor Phil starts the count (.1) The Jobfather is back on his feet. (..2) The Jobfather drives a forearm into the head of Triple Puke. (...3) Triple Puke delivers a short-arm clothesline to The Jobfather. The Jobfather is back on his feet. (....4) Lardi kicks Triple Puke in the back of the leg. Triple Puke is up again. (.....5) They fight into the aisle. Triple Puke and The Jobfather move back to ringside. Triple Puke and The Jobfather move back into the ring. Triple Puke goes down with an elbow. The Jobfather tags in Mrs. DemonSpawn. She piledrives Triple Puke. Triple Puke grabs Mrs. DemonSpawn and applies an arm wrench. Triple Puke tags in Quiz. Quiz fist drops Mrs Ds on the mat. Quiz gets back to his feet. DemonSpawn punches Quiz in the head. The Evil Mrs. tags in The Jobfather. They lockup. Lardi sends Quiz to the corner of the ring. She takes Quiz down with a knee. They lockup. The Jobfather sends Quiz to the corner of the ring. ]

Colin: DS screws that?

Cujo: No, that is his mother I think.

[Triple Puke tackles The Jobfather and pummels his head. Quiz grabs The Jobfather under his arms, and throws him over his shoulder with a double underhook. Quiz connects with a flying knee. The Jobfather goes down. The Jobfather gets back to his feet. Mrs. DS enters the ring and takes down Quiz. Lardi executes a reverse DDT on Quiz. The Jobfather sucks chants start in the crowd. Mrs. DS enters the ring with a tag. Triple Puke shoulder tackles DemonSpawn. Triple Puke moves back to his feet. Now she is standing. The Jobfather tags in. The Jobfather lifts Triple Puke into the air. Holds him and drops him to the mat. ]

Colin: This is just sick man. I like Singapore better.

[ Triple Puke tags in Quiz. Quiz measures Lardi up and drops a closed fist. Quiz stands up. Lardi gets back to his feet. Lardi makes the tag to DemonSpawn. Quiz takes DemonSpawn off his feet with a short-arm clothesline. Quiz takes a slap to the face from Mrs Ds. DemonSpawn drives a forearm into the head of Quiz. DemonSpawn connects with a low blow. Quiz goes down. Triple Puke tagged in by Quiz. Triple Puke stomps Mrs. DemonSpawn's head. Triple Puke fist drops DemonSpawn on the mat. Now Triple Puke standing. DemonSpawn is up again. Triple Puke makes the tag to Quiz. DemonSpawn grabs Quiz and applies an arm wrench. DemonSpawn runs, and jumps off the second rope, flipping backwards into an Asai Moonsault on Quiz. The ref starts the count. ...1 ...2 Quiz kicks out.]

Colin: That is sweet, Mrs. DS is Japanese!

[Lardi tagged in by DemonSpawn. The Jobfather lifts Quiz up and drops him on the mat. Lardi lifts Quiz into a vertical suplex. Lardi executes a reverse DDT on Quiz. ]

Colin: But Lardi still sucks.

[Quiz tags in Triple Puke. Triple Puke hits The Jobfather with a sidewalk slam. Quiz enters, here comes Mrs. DS. The two fight to the outside.]

Colin: So, is Quiz fighting his mother-in-law or Granny?

[The Jobfather for the Jobber Hangover... The Jobfather hits Triple Puke with it. Lardi covers Triple Puke. Referee Phil makes the count. ...1 ...2 ...3 ]

Weezil - The winners of this match, and new SPCW Tag Team Titles champions, Lardi and Mrs. Demonspawn!!!

Cujo: Yeah?

Colin: More like an oh.

Ravin' Stan vs. Poofdust (Flea Collar Match)

Weezil - This match is a Flea Collar Match! On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 257 from His Misunderstood Childhood Memories Ravin' Stan!!! (crowd boos ****)

["SuperBeast" ]

Weezil - and his opponent, weighing in at 280 from Hollywood, California a member of The Kinda Limited Soldiers, Poofdust!!! (crowd boos *******)

[Poofdust walks to the ring. Phil is the referee for this contest. Phil checks Ravin''s boots and knee pads. They connect the collar. (the bell rings) Ravin' takes Poofdust down with a knee. Ravin' Stan grabs Poofdust and applies an arm wrench. Poofdust stands up. Ravin' Stan nails Poofdust with a dropkick. Poofdust gets up. Ravin' Stan uses a closed fist on Poofdust. Ravin' Stan low blows Poofdust. Poofdust gets up. Poofdust kicks Ravin' in the stomach. Now Ravin' standing. Poofdust chokes Ravin' with the collar.]

Colin: This is kinda stupid.

[Ravin' is up again. Poofdust gets up. Poofdust smacks Ravin' Stan in the side of the face with an enziguiri. Poofdust delivers a low blow to Ravin'. Poofdust grabs Ravin' Stan and applies an arm wrench. ]

Colin: What is the deal with all the arm wrenches?

[Poofdust covers Ravin' Stan. The ref starts the count. ...1 Ravin' Stan escapes. Now Ravin' Stan standing. Ravin' lifts Poofdust into a vertical suplex. Poofdust stands up. Ravin' Stan and Poofdust go to the floor. They sling each other into the ring post. Ravin' gets a chair and nails Poofdust with it.]

Colin: De Ja Vu.

[Poofdust goes down. Ravin' keeps drillin' him with the chair. A split on the side of Poofdust opens up. Blood is leaking out of his side.]

Cujo: Uhh, I wouldn't touch him now.

Colin: Are you sexist?

Cujo: No, I just don't like gay people. (Added by Bo, complain to me.)

[Poofdust hits the floor hard. Poofdust is out. Ravin' drives Poofdust's face onto the concrete with the Hankey Flow DDT. Ravin' covers Poofdust in a small package. Phil counts the pin. ...1 ...2 ...3

Weezil - The winner of this match, Ravin' Stan!!!

Cujo: Next is that TV title match.

Droz vs. Stunk (SPCW TV Title)

Weezil - This match is for the SPCW TV Title title. On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 240 lbs, Stunk!!! (crowd cheers ******)

[Stunk comes to the ring. ]

Weezil - and his opponent, he holds the SPCW TV Title title belt, Droz!!! (crowd cheers **)

[Droz walks to the ring. Phil is the referee for this contest. (the bell rings) Stunk uses a closed fist on Droz. ]

Colin: Trying to open him up again.

[Stunk belly-to-backs Droz. Stunk is up again. Stunk is working on that wound. Stunk covers Droz. Phil counts the pin. ...1 ...2 Droz escapes. Droz moves back to his feet. Stunk runs and tackles Droz. Stunk punches him in the head. Stunk kicks Droz on the mat. Now Droz standing. Droz is busted wide open. He collapses. Stunk applies a boston crab to Droz. Phil is checking for a tap out. ... Stunk tightens the hold. ... (AHHHH!) ... ... Droz is fighting the hold. Droz is reaching for the ropes. Stunk moves him back to the center.

Cujo: Droz is really busted open.

Colin: Call this Monday Night Bloodzone.

[Stunk lets go. He goes to lift up Droz, a small package... 1...2...3!]

Weezil - The winner of this match, and still SPCW TV Title champion, Droz!!!

Cujo: Stunk is seriously pissed!

[Stunk continues beating on Droz until officials finally pull him off of Droz.]

Cujo: I guess a precursor...

Colin: A what?

Cujo: A precursor.

Colin: Something that comes before the cursor? Like the way I always say "oh" before hell?

Cujo: Shut up.

The Cooperation vs. Roadkill/Cooperate Champion

Weezil - This match is a Standard Match tag match. On there way to the ring at this time, The Cooperation!!!

["No chance in Baywatch" plays as Chef and Vince make their way to the ring.]

Weezil: and their opponents... Roadkill and the Cooperate Jobber!

[Roadkill enters the ring and all three men start beating on him. He low blows EQP. EQP falls on Chef. Roadkill starts beating on Vince. The ref counts...1..2...3!]

Weezil: The winners... Roadkill and the Cooperate Jobber!

[Chef is telling EQP to get off of him as Singapore enters the ring and pantses Roadkill.]

Colin: Dinky Wang! Dinky Wang!

Cujo: Oh my, it is just shrinkage!

[Roadkill pulls up his pants and runs to the back as the Cooperation try to pull EQP's fat ass off of Chef.]

Cujo: So the winner of the next match will fight Dinky Wan... I mean Roadkill at the next PPV.

Colin: Dinky Wang vs. the Cooperate Champion!

Stan Flair vs. Big Van Cartman (SPCW World Heavyweight Title)

Weezil - This match is for the SPCW World Heavyweight Title title. On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 275 from Flairville, Minnesota a member of The Cooperation he holds the SPCW World Heavyweight Title title belt, Stan Flair!!! (crowd cheers *******)

["No Chance in Baywatch" ]

Weezil - and his opponent, weighing in at 600 from Arby's, Big Van Cartman!!! (crowd cheers ********)

[Big Van Cartman walks to the ring. Phil is the referee for this contest. (ring, ring, ring) Stan Flair uses a closed fist on Big Van Cartman. ]

Colin - Punch!

Cujo: Yeah!

[Flair slaps the face of Big Van Cartman. Stan Flair stands up. Flair drives a forearm into the head of Big Van Cartman. ]

Colin - Follows up with a Forearm Smash.

Cujo: You are on top of this.

[Stan Flair runs and tackles Big Van Cartman. Stan Flair punches him in the head. Big Van Cartman gets back to his feet. Flair tries to flam Big Van Cartman, but hurts his back. BVC executes a belly-to-belly suplex on Flair. Big Van Cartman chants start. BVC falls on Flair.]

Colin: I heard him crack.

[Stan Flair gets up. Big Van Cartman is up again. Big Van Cartman hits Flair with a big slam. Big Van Cartman gets back to his feet. Flair moves back to his feet. Big Van Cartman nails Flair with a snap mare takeover. Big Van Cartman applies an arm wrench to Stan Flair. Enziguiri by Big Van Cartman.]

Cujo: Trick photography.

Colin: I felt the earth move.

[Stan Flair gets up and goes behind BVC. Flair trys for a Atomic Drop but is not strong enough to lift Big Van Cartman. BVC falls on Flair. 1...2... kickout. BVC slings Flair into the ropes, but Flair hits BVC with a dropkick.

Colin - Big Van Cartman takes a Dropkick.

[Stan Flair knees Big Van Cartman and rolls back to his feet. Now Big Van Cartman standing. Flair connects with a flying knee. Big Van Cartman goes down. Flair rolls onto Big Van Cartman connecting with a knee. Big Van Cartman gets up. Flair slaps the face of Big Van Cartman. Flair low blows Big Van Cartman. Flair tackles and begins punching Big Van Cartman. Stan Flair measures Big Van Cartman up and drops a closed fist. Now Flair standing. Big Van Cartman gets up. Stan Flair nails Big Van Cartman with a dropkick. Flair gets back to his feet. Flair covers Big Van Cartman hooking the leg. The ref starts the count. ...1 ...2 Big Van Cartman escapes. ]

Colin - Stan Flair should have known he wouldn't win the match with that.

Cujo: Why not?

Colin: I don't know, Schiavone told me to say it.

[Big Van Cartman stands up. Big Van Cartman smacks Flair in the side of the face with a punch. Flair and Big Van Cartman go to the floor Phil starts the count (.1) (..2) Flair stomps Big Van Cartman. (...3) Flair stomps Big Van Cartman's head. Big Van Cartman is back on his feet. (....4) Big Van Cartman hits Stan Flair with a belly-to-back-suplex. Big Van Cartman climbs to his feet. (.....5) They fight into the aisle. Flair and Big Van Cartman move back to ringside. Flair takes Big Van Cartman into the ring. Flair uses a closed fist on Big Van Cartman. Stan Flair tackles and begins punching Big Van Cartman. Swinging Neck-Breaker from Stan Flair takes Big Van Cartman down. Stan Flair slaps Big Van Cartman in the face. Flair stands up. Stan Flair nails Big Van Cartman with a dropkick. Stan Flair chants start. Stan Flair measures Big Van Cartman up and drops a closed fist. He misses. A big splash by BVC. BVC climbs the ropes. Cartsault! Flair moves. Stan Flair gets up. Flair grabs his legs... he spins around... Figure 8! BVC is fighting, he taps...

Weezil - The winner of this match, and still SPCW World Heavyweight Title champion, Stan Flair!!!

Cujo: Awesome match!

Colin: That is the second time this week BVC was almost champ.

Cujo: The next big star?

Colin: No, sucking up to owners.

Cujo: See you back on Thursday.